So this post was going to be one where I was going to vent and cry out my frustration and extreme disappointment, but after recent events it now has a different spin. But just so you know why:


Two weeks ago was a really rough week! One that I was hoping to have cause for celebration and excitement and then it turned as quickly as it could. Sometimes I feel like a jinx. It seems that if I get excited about something big that is going to happen to us I want to tell everyone but as soon as I open my mouth no matter how sure things were looking for us they change. This was no exception. My husband and I were getting ready (again...) to do in-vetro. The date had been set, the first week of December- that way I had time off work to lay down and do nothing but let nature (and modern medicine) take its course. The best part about this plan was that we would find out 2 days before Christmas if we were finally about to be parents. So we had begun the mounds of medication needed to make this work. I was on the 2nd of 4 that I would have to take, halfway there when my doctor had to run a test that could only be done at this point in time. It was a new test, at least for me. One that none of my other specialist had ever done before, maybe that's why we felt like this new doctor was the one for us. Anyway she discovered that I had a couple of polyps and a tear in my uterus. Come on! Are you kidding me?! Can't you give us even a little break?! So now instead of having in-vetro the first of December I get to have a surgery to remove the polyps and repair the tear. Of course I was a wreak after the news and I'm sure that the massive hormones I was on didn't help at all! All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry. I couldn't help wondering if we needed to come to terms with living a child free life. Because after many fasts and prayers, even some more recent, we know that adoption is not the rout we are suppose to take.



I tend to listen to books on tape because with traffic and navigating the Vegas strip I commute about an hour a day. Well On Wednesday when I was heading back to work I was listening to April's General Conference. It was the priesthood session and Dieter F. Uchtdorf began to speak. I know that we aren't suppose to have favorites but he quickly became one of mine as soon as he was called and not just because he is German. :-) Anyway his talk was on patience, you can already see where I am going with this. So many things in his talk jumped out at me and it was exactly what I needed to hear. So even though we have been trying to have a family for 9 years I still need to be patient. If my heart had not been comforted enough I then began preparing my primary lesson for Sunday and wouldn't you know it was about Job. I was again comforted by what I was preparing and just to make sure I was ok and could make it through, Sunday's talks in Sacrament meeting were all about our trials, enduring through them and of course patience. I love how things like that happen, we hear just what we need to in order to have our prayers answered and hearts calmed. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!